This post is dedicated to my aunt, who wanted nothing more than for me to engage in a lively vacation romance while in Florida. Well, now that I'm back, I feel it's my job to tell y'all about my romantic escapades with a savory character who shall for now remain nameless.
My story begins in a wonderful town known as Daytona Beach, specifically on the oceanfront, in our 18th story condo. I was sitting around when my family decided to go out for a stroll along the beach. So we did.
Our journey lead us down to a quaint little shop whose name escapes me now. They sold ice cream, fudge, and taffy, among other candies. I strode in confidently, unaware that my Prince Charming was just around the corner. (And yes, this is a true story.)
Well, my family decided to get toffee after being bewitched by a taffy pulling machine in the front window. I got a bag and started filling it with one of each fascinating flavor that managed to catch my eye, e.g. caramel apple, popcorn, bubblegum, and Belgian waffle.
That was when I saw him--on the top shelf, between Margarita and Honey, was a big bucket full of maple-bacon flavored taffy.
Simply put, I fell in love. Until he melted on the beach and ended up fusing my beach towel to my backside. That was a royal pain to get through security, I'll tell you.
Disclaimer: My dearest aunt,
If this did not fulfill your desire to read a story designed to set your heart aflutter, nothing will. I might suggest your local library for what some might consider more edifying entertainment, or you could just accept that maple-bacon taffy is more attractive than any surfer dude.