Your Questions - Answered

Hello, my few (and probably not proud.  I mean, this blog is either your guilty pleasure or something you read as a form of self-torture) blog-readers.  This post contains answers for you brave enough to ask questions in the comment box of one of my previous posts.  True, two of my askers were my parents, so the one outside my bloodline gets extra credit in the class of life.

Alright, first up:

Q: You are given $500K. How would you spend/save/give it? Are there any causes dear to you or principles you would work toward? What would you do with part of it that would be frivolous?

A: Right off the bat, I put $250K in the bank to save for future medical bills or the like.  Next, I give some to the Mill Dog Rescue.  Third, I'd probably buy a dog from Mill Dog Rescue.  As for frivolousness (yes, that's a real word; look it up) I would launch my own TV show on either CartoonNetwork or Nickelodeon.  Lastly, I'd hug the dude who gave me this $500K so hard he'd start fighting back.  And when he fought back, I'd have to dip into that previously mentioned $250K to pay for my brokenness.

Q: Why is Barney's skull 3" wide since it only has a brain the size of a pea?

A: (For those of you who don't know who Barney is, take a look at this hot mess:)

The answer to your question lies in the principle of his utter hotness.  He got the good looks (3" skull included), while his siblings got other attributes like brains, agility, endurance, and seeing ghosts--but they all look more or less like Lady GaGa after her concussion.

Q: Shouldn't "health care" really be called disease management? What would happen if society supported real health care with fewer working/school hours, less homework, more time outside, purposeful physical activity, creative pursuits, and healthy food?

A:  Dear Sir/Ma'am--

This is a blog, not a research paper.  But the answer is as follows: 

The USA would raise a generation of strong, intelligent people, who would rise up and conquer every other country that is unhealthy by comparison.  We would achieve world domination, but quickly fall to communism.  A literal underground railroad would be established where people go to escape the government and eat junk food, which, up until that point, has been outlawed.  This would continue until the apocalypse, when only a few survivors pick through society's ruins in gas masks. 
(This blog and its owners/affiliates not responsible for any grades achieved using this information)