5 Second Rule

Is anyone else baffled by our so-called 5 second rule?  Recent scientific developments have shown that it is indeed something to take into consideration when you drop food on a relatively clean surface, but what those scientists didn't do is take the 5 second rule to the next level.  Here's my premise: lets say I drop a sandwich on the floor and pick it up within 2 1/2 seconds.  Now, let's say I drop the sandwich again and recover it within 2 1/2 seconds.  Does my sandwich have the same amount of germs on it as it would have if I'd left it on the ground for 5 seconds, and is it still edible? 

And if my sandwich is good for 4.99 seconds on my kitchen floor (which, for the purpose of this exercise, we'll say is freshly mopped), is it good for 1.99 seconds on a sticky restaurant table, or is the table just too grimy altogether and I'd be better off chucking the sandwich at my cholos hobo because it functions better as a throwing star than a sandwich? 

Returning to my first question, here's a follow-up question: do germs fade away eventually, meaning that if I dropped my sandwich and retrieved it within 2 seconds and let it sit in a corner for a few days before dropping it for 2 seconds again, does it have 2 or 4 seconds worth of germs? 

My most pressing concern, however, is how I even got that sandwich and how I'm clumsy enough to drop it 6 times during the course of this post.  I mean, based on my sandwich-making tendencies, someone either made me that sandwich or I bought that sandwich, and it seems awfully rude of me to drop a sandwich I didn't make 6 times.  (And for those of you who weren't keeping track, my sandwich is up to 15.98 floor seconds.  I don't think I will eat that sandwich.)